August 18, 2008

 I’m settling down a bit

I know I shouldn’t be saying this.

Just the opposite what I last read.

Maybe I’m supposed to hate you.

Don’t get me wrong

I have my share of mistakes,

But i just can’t.

I just can’t hate.

 

 

I’m open to you you know

I know it was your choice.

But see,

just know

if you ever need a friend

I’m here.

August 9, 2008

Anyway this change I’ve been feeling doesn’t make the rain fall..

She saw me today. Almost exposed. Almost raw.

But she didn’t. Because I lied.

I can change so suddenly. Just like mercury.

Sometimes the vertigo is too much for me to handle…

I shoulda been the rain. I shoulda been a balloon, somewhere in middle america

Every time you say you’re trying, you just look a lot like me.

There isn’t any sweetness in the dreaming.  Just tension. 

And the waking up with the guilt.

It gets so bad but i just keep coming back for more.

thinking ’bout taking some time.

Think I’ve been wastin it.

Thinkg ’bout, geting out.

Don’t know, how I feel.

Sometimes I’m floating away.

Daylight’s past faded.

I’m waiting for the telephone to tell me he’s alive and real still.

If you were wondering, you really hurt me.

I hope you read this and know you hurt me, just like you intended to.

Looking out from behind my fingers. Addicted to the knife. I just keep reading.

I hope you’re happy to see me like this. Its what you wanted.

You’re so wrong about me. So mislead.

I hope you know who you are.

Your wrong.

 

I’m gonna prove you wrong.

July 29, 2008

Last night I dreamt you came home early and you were wearing the jacket you gave me and I got to see you and you had a perfectly good explanation for why you had been so out of touch.  When I woke this morning I reached to my sides, and eternity of sheets and naught else. 

 

Driving to Santa Fe in the morning at 3:30 A.M

 

July 24, 2008

July 9, 2008

Well, it has begun.

I’m finally doing it.

For 4 weeks,

Im running on coffee and dreams alone.

 

 

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes “Awww!”