I’m settling down a bit
I know I shouldn’t be saying this.
Just the opposite what I last read.
Maybe I’m supposed to hate you.
Don’t get me wrong
I have my share of mistakes,
But i just can’t.
I just can’t hate.
I’m open to you you know
I know it was your choice.
But see,
just know
if you ever need a friend
I’m here.
Anyway this change I’ve been feeling doesn’t make the rain fall..
She saw me today. Almost exposed. Almost raw.
But she didn’t. Because I lied.
I can change so suddenly. Just like mercury.
Sometimes the vertigo is too much for me to handle…
I shoulda been the rain. I shoulda been a balloon, somewhere in middle america
Every time you say you’re trying, you just look a lot like me.
There isn’t any sweetness in the dreaming. Just tension.
And the waking up with the guilt.
It gets so bad but i just keep coming back for more.
thinking ’bout taking some time.
Think I’ve been wastin it.
Thinkg ’bout, geting out.
Don’t know, how I feel.
Sometimes I’m floating away.
Daylight’s past faded.
I’m waiting for the telephone to tell me he’s alive and real still.
If you were wondering, you really hurt me.
I hope you read this and know you hurt me, just like you intended to.
Looking out from behind my fingers. Addicted to the knife. I just keep reading.
I hope you’re happy to see me like this. Its what you wanted.
You’re so wrong about me. So mislead.
I hope you know who you are.
Your wrong.
I’m gonna prove you wrong.
Last night I dreamt you came home early and you were wearing the jacket you gave me and I got to see you and you had a perfectly good explanation for why you had been so out of touch. When I woke this morning I reached to my sides, and eternity of sheets and naught else.
Driving to Santa Fe in the morning at 3:30 A.M
Back home until next week.
My parents are trying to fix their marriage.
I feel so fat and useless.
Well, it has begun.
I’m finally doing it.
For 4 weeks,
Im running on coffee and dreams alone.
